Plan 10 From Outer Space:
Super Discount Department Stores From Outerspace
Narrator in formal wear seated behind a desk

Greetings, my friend. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. We are giving you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimonies of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places, my friend we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty, let us reward the innocent. We are all interested in the past, for that is where you and I have spent most of our lives. And remember my friend, past events such as these have affected you in the past. Fifty years ago evil aliens fearful that we would develop technology that would threaten the whole solar system, tried to destroy mankind with Plan Nine. Plan Nine from Outer Space. Your brave countrymen thwarted Plan Nine and caused it to fail, but the aliens are not done yet. We may have defeated Plan 9 but are we ready for Plan 10 from Outer Space.  And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day.  My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about discount department stores from outer space?

Fade to exterior shot of Space Station 7 which looks suspiciously like two breasts stuck together on a plate.

Fade to Interior of Ruler’s office on Space Station 7

Ruler
So you are the clone of Eros, you do not look like Eros

Eros
The cloning vats were imported from China, the inner lining was painted with lead paint.

Ruler
Yes, well we saved 40% by outsourcing our vat operations. Report on your operations on Planet Earth. These Earth people have proven troublesome.

Eros
Yes, Ruler these Earth people are absolutely impossible to work through, their souls are too controlled. We have contacted the Earth governments but they refuse to acknowledge our existence. Every overture is meet with violence and resistance.

Exterior shot of sky, hubcap and pie plate flying saucers on strings whirl through the sky.

Shots of missile barrages and military jets flying through the air.

Exterior shot of a Colonel and Captain standing side by side

Captain
Are you worried about them sir?

Colonel
Well they must be visiting for a reason.

Captain
Visits? Well that would indicate visitors. Are big guns the way to welcome visitors.

Colonel
We haven’t always fired on them.

Captain
Oh?

Colonel
First we tried to contact them by radio. To negotiate, but they went ahead and opened a discount department store in a town. A small town, I’ll admit, but nevertheless but a town filled with mom and pop shops. Shops who died.

Captain
Well I never heard about that sir.

Colonel
Well it was covered up by the higher echelon. Take any plant closing, layoff, bankruptcy any economic disturbance then wonder. Flying saucers, Captain are still a rumor, officially.

Cut to interior of Ruler’s office on Space Station 7

Ruler
Even after all of out activity?

Eros
Yes even after all of our past operations they still refuse to believe.

Ruler
Well no matter. Perhaps you will be more successful than your predecessor, now tell be about Plan 10

Eros
Plan 9…ah yes. Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead department stores. Long-distance economic shots into the coffers of recent dead department stores. We will then dump cheap inferior products onto the market until all other methods of distribution havedried up. Then we will have them by the throat. You know, it’s an interesting thing when you consider…the Earth people, who can think, are so incapable of ignoring a bargain.

Ruler
It all sounds a little complicated, but it makes more sense than Plan 9.

Eros
Yes it is complicated, but this time it will work!

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