Technical Support
“Hello this is Clovis Chitwood Heavy Industries technical support how may I help you?”
“Well, I’m calling because you software is running much slower since I upgraded.”
“Which version did you upgrade to?”
“Version 13.666, it’s running much slower than version 13.665. Is there anything we can do to speed it up?”
“Sure, we had so many complaints about version 13.665 being so damn fast we put a “Turbo™” button in the user configuration screen. Just go to System, Setup, User Configuration. In the bottom right hand corner do you see the button labeled “Turbo™“. Is it glowing red?”
“No it’s blue.”
“Okay click the button then.”
“It turned red.”
“Good now you are in “Turbo™” mode. Now you’ll find reports on the printer before you even knew you wanted them.
“What’s this slider bar underneath the turbo button?”
“You mean the “Turbo™” button?”
“Yes, it’s labeled reliability.”
“That’s also new for version 13.666 it’s the “Reliability™” control. Slide it to the right to increase your reliability, slide it to the left to make the software more buggy.”
“It’s set at 30%, right now.”
“Yes that’s the default.”
“So all I have to do is slide it to the right and I’ll get less error messages.”
“Yes and you won’t have to reboot every twenty minutes either.”
“But it only goes up to 50%”
“Well nobodies perfect.”
“Why in the hell is it set at 30%.”
“Job security. Is there anything else I can help you with?”